Even if you can't be on vacation all summer, some of these activities will entertain your little ones.
1. "Paint" with water and a big, wide brush on outdoor surfaces like the sidewalk, steps, or fence.
2. Fill up two kiddie pools, one with water, one with beach or play sand. Give your child some plastic containers to measure or pour with.
3. Buy some inexpensive sidewalk chalk and let the sidewalk be your child's easel.
4. Ok, you have to be adventuresome for this and you might want to save it for a rainy day. Make a road out of uncooked rice and let your child use it for his or her cars. Then vacuum it up.
5. You could also make a road with masking tape or blue painter's tape. Actually, that would probably be a lot better!
6. Spread a sheet over a small table or card table. Use it as a fort or a tent. Get inside and read books to your child. Sometimes this is a great place for napping.
7. Make Rice Krispies Treats with your child. It's simple, takes only three ingredients and can be eaten right away.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Environmental Print
"Look Mommy, that says McDonald's." That statement will probably be the first your child will say to you that lets you know he or she recognizes the letters or words that spell McDonald's. The next may be, "Look Mommy, that says WalMart", if you are a WalMart shopper. These moments of enlightenment mean that your child is recognizing environmental print......print that exists in the environment of commercialism.
This is an important developmental milestone in your child's development and is a pre-cursor to reading. When your child begins to notice commercial signs that are familiar, you should reinforce the statements with responses such as, "Yes, that means McDonald's. That is an M." Later, you can reinforce the recognition of the entire word. When you take your child shopping with you, point out signs that indicate the names of familiar places such as Publix (if you are from the south), or Trader Joe's (if you are lucky enough to have one of those around), or Burger King and Wendy's.
As your child begins to make connections between words in the environment and words in books, he or she will begin learning that words and word meanings are also connected. The environment of commercialism is the first place your child will begin "reading". Encourage it.
This is an important developmental milestone in your child's development and is a pre-cursor to reading. When your child begins to notice commercial signs that are familiar, you should reinforce the statements with responses such as, "Yes, that means McDonald's. That is an M." Later, you can reinforce the recognition of the entire word. When you take your child shopping with you, point out signs that indicate the names of familiar places such as Publix (if you are from the south), or Trader Joe's (if you are lucky enough to have one of those around), or Burger King and Wendy's.
As your child begins to make connections between words in the environment and words in books, he or she will begin learning that words and word meanings are also connected. The environment of commercialism is the first place your child will begin "reading". Encourage it.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thought For The Day
It only takes one caring adult in the life of a child to make that child's life meaningful. That person can be a parent, a friend, a teacher, a sibling. Isn't that astonishing? It only takes one. I hope you are that person for a child that you know.
Friday, May 6, 2011
A Room of One's Own
When author Virgina Woolf wrote, "A Room of One's Own", I doubt she was speaking of children. However, I think that title is appropriate for my topic today. Children need a space of their own.....whether a room or simply an area of the house that they know is theirs, that no one else will violate. Setting boundaries such as this helps children develop boundaries of their own. If there is a space for them, they slowly begin to learn to respect the space of others.
In a classroom, boundaries are established by assigning a desk or table and chair to each child. Sometimes, a teacher will define personal space for each child by tape on the floor or by having each child sit on a colored mat. This is important because children feel very chaotic if they do not know where their space is. And adults feel this way also. I know when I enter a room, I want to know "where I'm supposed to go". I want someone to tell me where my space is. Children are the same. They need predictability and they need to know "where they fit".
Some children have more difficulty with personal space than others. But it is a two way street. If the child's space is not his or her own, the child will not respect the space of anyone else. If a child does not have defined space of his or her own, then everyone's space becomes their space. Children learn appropriate boundaries by the way adults model their own setting of boundaries.
Establishing boundaries early in childhood will help as your child becomes older. It may not seem significant that your little three year old goes into your purse without permission to find a pencil; it will be much more significant when that same child is a teenager and goes into your purse without permission to look for money.
Begin in small ways. Set up a system of toy storage so that your child knows where to find and store his or her playthings. Define a place at the dining table where your child sits to eat. Do not allow your child to go into your purse without permission. Remember that predictability is the key. Boundary-setting is about respecting space--physical space, personal space, emotional space. And remember that as the parent, you are the key. You are the role model.
And finally, Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful, hard-working mothers out there.
In a classroom, boundaries are established by assigning a desk or table and chair to each child. Sometimes, a teacher will define personal space for each child by tape on the floor or by having each child sit on a colored mat. This is important because children feel very chaotic if they do not know where their space is. And adults feel this way also. I know when I enter a room, I want to know "where I'm supposed to go". I want someone to tell me where my space is. Children are the same. They need predictability and they need to know "where they fit".
Some children have more difficulty with personal space than others. But it is a two way street. If the child's space is not his or her own, the child will not respect the space of anyone else. If a child does not have defined space of his or her own, then everyone's space becomes their space. Children learn appropriate boundaries by the way adults model their own setting of boundaries.
Establishing boundaries early in childhood will help as your child becomes older. It may not seem significant that your little three year old goes into your purse without permission to find a pencil; it will be much more significant when that same child is a teenager and goes into your purse without permission to look for money.
Begin in small ways. Set up a system of toy storage so that your child knows where to find and store his or her playthings. Define a place at the dining table where your child sits to eat. Do not allow your child to go into your purse without permission. Remember that predictability is the key. Boundary-setting is about respecting space--physical space, personal space, emotional space. And remember that as the parent, you are the key. You are the role model.
And finally, Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful, hard-working mothers out there.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Developmental Milestones
Today, I want to talk about developmental milestones, a term not heard much anymore. Developmental milestones are those markers in a child's development that let you know your child is developing normally and at the correct rate. If you don't know to watch for these markers, you won't know if your child is having a problem. For example, if your child is six month's old, he or she should be able to do the following:
Check out the following website for other developmental markers as your child advances in age: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/devmile.htm And if your child is not developing at a normal rate, talk to your pediatrician. Early intervention is the key and can make the difference between success or failure in your child's school career.
Motor Skills
- hold head steady when sitting with your help
- reach for and grasp objects
- play with his toes
- help hold the bottle during feeding
- explore by mouthing and banging objects
- move toys from one hand to another
- shake a rattle
- pull up to a sitting position on her own if you grasp her hands
- sit with only a little support
- sit in a high chair
- roll over
- bounce when held in a standing position
Sensory and Thinking Skills
- open his mouth for the spoon
- imitate familiar actions you perform
Language and Social Skills
- babble, making almost sing-song sounds
- know familiar faces
- laugh and squeal with delight
- scream if annoyed
- smile at herself in a mirror
Check out the following website for other developmental markers as your child advances in age: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/devmile.htm And if your child is not developing at a normal rate, talk to your pediatrician. Early intervention is the key and can make the difference between success or failure in your child's school career.
Friday, April 15, 2011
A Trip To The Store
I have been watching Jamie Oliver's show on the Food Network in which he is working with a school district in West Virginia to provide healthier school lunches. In the course of his educating the children on better food choices, he spent time in a kindergarten class. He brought in foods such as celery, eggplant, tomatoes, and potatoes to see if the children could identify each one. You guessed it. They could not. Why is that? One reason is that no one had talked to these children about these foods. Perhaps there was not money in the family budget for fresh vegetables. Or maybe processed foods have taken over our society to the point where families don't cook fresh vegetables anymore. Or maybe these kiddos just needed a little instruction.
Once Jamie had attempted this lesson with the class, the teacher decided to teach the children about vegetables. Within two weeks, when Jamie went back to the same class, all of the children could identify all of the vegetables. It was a beautiful thing to see.
To help your child identify fruits and/or vegetables and to develop vocabulary, do the following: when you are in the grocery store, have your child name each item you are adding to the cart. To help with letter and sound recognition, a pre-cursor to reading, sound out the first sound in the word and name that letter sound. Or you can say, "Let's find a vegetable that begins with B". Pick up broccoli." Yes, broccoli. Broccoli begins with B."
Even your older children will benefit from this exercise. You can greatly expand their vocabulary by choosing vegetables or fruits like artichokes, cauliflower, pomegranate, or mango to talk about. All children love to learn new words, especially if they are big words that are fun to say. Who knows, your child may even ask to sample some of the food you talk about.
Once Jamie had attempted this lesson with the class, the teacher decided to teach the children about vegetables. Within two weeks, when Jamie went back to the same class, all of the children could identify all of the vegetables. It was a beautiful thing to see.
To help your child identify fruits and/or vegetables and to develop vocabulary, do the following: when you are in the grocery store, have your child name each item you are adding to the cart. To help with letter and sound recognition, a pre-cursor to reading, sound out the first sound in the word and name that letter sound. Or you can say, "Let's find a vegetable that begins with B". Pick up broccoli." Yes, broccoli. Broccoli begins with B."
Even your older children will benefit from this exercise. You can greatly expand their vocabulary by choosing vegetables or fruits like artichokes, cauliflower, pomegranate, or mango to talk about. All children love to learn new words, especially if they are big words that are fun to say. Who knows, your child may even ask to sample some of the food you talk about.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sticker Shock
I have spent considerable time over the years watching parents and children. In particular, I watch to see how carefully children are supervised when out in public. I do this because I am a self-confessed fanatic where the safety of children is concerned. That being said, I developed a mental exercise several years ago to help me determine whether a child is being supervised properly.
I imagine myself with a pocket full of round stickers that say, "This child could have been kidnapped today". These stickers would be about the size of a silver dollar. If the child were close enough to me and far enough from their parent so that I could have placed a sticker on that child or handed the sticker to the child , then those parents were too far away from that child and there was too great an opportunity for tragedy. I have never really done this because of the liability involved. However, it is an interesting thing to contemplate.
I am discussing this subject today because I spent last Friday on Disney property and had many opportunities to think about my "sticker project". A particular situation occurred at the Disney Ice Cream Parlor in EPCOT. My daughter and I wanted a sundae but there was a very long line inside and very few tables available outside. She stood in the line and I went out to save a table. As I sat outside on the patio, I noticed three young children at a nearby table. The oldest child was about ten years old and the other two were about seven or eight. There were saving a table. However, there was no adult anywhere in sight. There were alone for at least ten minutes, perhaps fifteen.
I suppose it is possible that the parent of these children could have been watching them from inside the ice cream parlor. I suppose that if a stranger had approached the children, the parent would have noticed. I suppose that if someone had tried to lure these children away, they would have not gone. But I'm not sure.
My point is that many parents assume their children are safe from all harm in certain locations. Disney is one of those locations. There is an atmosphere of safety, nostalgia, and worry-free living at Disney. I believe that it lulls parents into a false sense of security and that can be very dangerous.
In all fairness to Disney, however, my sticker project emerged far away from the theme parks. Children are unsupervised all the time in store, malls, movie theaters, and parks.
I challenge you to notice unsafe situations for children and I also challenge you to be certain you keep your own children safe. This does not only apply to very young children; older children are at risk also. I wish this were still a world where children could be children; where they could run and play alone outside or go to the mall alone at ten years old like I used to do sixty years ago. But that is not the case. And you are responsible because you are the parent. Could someone put a sticker on your child today?
I imagine myself with a pocket full of round stickers that say, "This child could have been kidnapped today". These stickers would be about the size of a silver dollar. If the child were close enough to me and far enough from their parent so that I could have placed a sticker on that child or handed the sticker to the child , then those parents were too far away from that child and there was too great an opportunity for tragedy. I have never really done this because of the liability involved. However, it is an interesting thing to contemplate.
I am discussing this subject today because I spent last Friday on Disney property and had many opportunities to think about my "sticker project". A particular situation occurred at the Disney Ice Cream Parlor in EPCOT. My daughter and I wanted a sundae but there was a very long line inside and very few tables available outside. She stood in the line and I went out to save a table. As I sat outside on the patio, I noticed three young children at a nearby table. The oldest child was about ten years old and the other two were about seven or eight. There were saving a table. However, there was no adult anywhere in sight. There were alone for at least ten minutes, perhaps fifteen.
I suppose it is possible that the parent of these children could have been watching them from inside the ice cream parlor. I suppose that if a stranger had approached the children, the parent would have noticed. I suppose that if someone had tried to lure these children away, they would have not gone. But I'm not sure.
My point is that many parents assume their children are safe from all harm in certain locations. Disney is one of those locations. There is an atmosphere of safety, nostalgia, and worry-free living at Disney. I believe that it lulls parents into a false sense of security and that can be very dangerous.
In all fairness to Disney, however, my sticker project emerged far away from the theme parks. Children are unsupervised all the time in store, malls, movie theaters, and parks.
I challenge you to notice unsafe situations for children and I also challenge you to be certain you keep your own children safe. This does not only apply to very young children; older children are at risk also. I wish this were still a world where children could be children; where they could run and play alone outside or go to the mall alone at ten years old like I used to do sixty years ago. But that is not the case. And you are responsible because you are the parent. Could someone put a sticker on your child today?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Be The Voice of Reason
I just heard this week via my television set, that Abercrombie and Fitch is marketing a push-up bikini top for seven year olds. If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, you have already heard my tirade. However, if you are not, or even if you are, I feel the need to elaborate.
You, the parent, have all of the power when it comes to purchasing items for your child. Yes, your child may pressure you, especially when they are teenagers. But remember way back when I taught you that "no means no"? Well this is one of those times to stick to your guns. You have the power of the purse and not only can you say no to your child, you MUST say no to manufacturers who think you have no sense.
Our children are growing up much too fast as it is. The hormones being injected into our foods are causing our childrens' little bodies to mature way too soon. The last thing we need to do is to perpetuate the idea that being grown up needs to begin at age seven. Please be aware of what advertising is doing. Be smart, be firm, and be powerful. Your money talks. Make sure it is saying, "NO".
You, the parent, have all of the power when it comes to purchasing items for your child. Yes, your child may pressure you, especially when they are teenagers. But remember way back when I taught you that "no means no"? Well this is one of those times to stick to your guns. You have the power of the purse and not only can you say no to your child, you MUST say no to manufacturers who think you have no sense.
Our children are growing up much too fast as it is. The hormones being injected into our foods are causing our childrens' little bodies to mature way too soon. The last thing we need to do is to perpetuate the idea that being grown up needs to begin at age seven. Please be aware of what advertising is doing. Be smart, be firm, and be powerful. Your money talks. Make sure it is saying, "NO".
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The Lemonade Stand
Yesterday, I spent most of the morning seeking out community yard sales here in Ocala. I happened upon several sales being held by entire neighborhoods and on one street, I was fortunate enough to meet Avery. Avery is a little five year old girl who was running a lemonade stand for yard sale attendees. I am telling you this story because, while lemonade stands were very common sixty years ago when I was a girl, they are not so common these days.
Avery's mother had made a large pitcher of lemonade and Avery's father was supervising the sales. Avery, on the other hand, was dividing her time between being a charming salesperson, and running in the house to find out how much lemonade was selling for. When we became her first customers of the morning, her eyes just glistened. When we dropped two quarters into her hand, she said, "Dad, I have change!".
It is never too early to teach your child the value of work and the value of money. Earning money comes naturally for some children; but others must be taught, helped, and encouraged. I am confident that a portion of Avery's lemonade earnings will be put into the bank. Perhaps, she will be allowed to spend a portion of it on herself. I hope that her Mom and Dad will teach her that a portion of her earnings must pay for the lemonade supplies. And that some of her profit should be set aside for charity. I know all of this seems very complicated for a five year old and perhaps it is. However, waiting until a child is a teenager is much too late. Values and a strong work ethic develop over time with much effort and practice.
Remember that it's the little things that make up the big things later on. If you are to raise a responsible adult, you must begin teaching responsibility at a very early age. Who knew it could begin with some lemons and sugar? Actually, Avery's lemonade was Crystal Light but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that her parents took the time on a Saturday morning to make lemonade, make a sign, and supervise their child while she learned about product sales, customer service, and entrepreneurship. Way to go Mom and Dad!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tools For Pre Writing
Children are often very anxious to begin using a drawing or writing implement at a very young age because they like to mimic their parents and older siblings. When you notice that your child wants to draw or "write", one of the best implements you can give them is a big, fat crayon. A child's hand and finger muscles are not developed until at least age five or six and their fine motor skills are not yet fine tuned. And so, the bigger the tool, the easier it will be for your child to have control of his or her drawing and writing.
It is quite a project to find big, fat crayons. These crayons are often called "Primary Crayons" but they are not as plentiful as they once were. I have found them at WalMart but they are expensive. If you live on the West Coast of the US, and have a place like "Scraps", you may have more luck getting these crayons at a bargain price. Another tool to try is a large paintbrush; not one like you would use to paint the house but one that you might use to paint a canvas--a paintbrush with a substantial, round handle that your child can wrap his or her hand around. Fill a bucket with water and allow your child to "paint" with water on the sidewalk or some other safe surface.
Manipulating a large crayon or a large paintbrush is a precursor to writing and will help develop your child's fine and gross motor muscles. Stay away from traditional pencils. They are too small and not intended for the hands of a young child.
It is quite a project to find big, fat crayons. These crayons are often called "Primary Crayons" but they are not as plentiful as they once were. I have found them at WalMart but they are expensive. If you live on the West Coast of the US, and have a place like "Scraps", you may have more luck getting these crayons at a bargain price. Another tool to try is a large paintbrush; not one like you would use to paint the house but one that you might use to paint a canvas--a paintbrush with a substantial, round handle that your child can wrap his or her hand around. Fill a bucket with water and allow your child to "paint" with water on the sidewalk or some other safe surface.
Manipulating a large crayon or a large paintbrush is a precursor to writing and will help develop your child's fine and gross motor muscles. Stay away from traditional pencils. They are too small and not intended for the hands of a young child.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Value of a Box
One of the best and most inexpensive playthings for your child, no matter what their age, is a cardboard box. That's right, an empty cardboard box. From the time your baby begins to crawl, he or she will be fascinated with a box. There was many a time that my children preferred to play with the box, rather than the toy that was packaged within the box. When your child is small, they love a box that is bigger than they are so that they can hide from you. You may need to cut a door in the side of the box because your child will love to go in and out numerous times.
As your child gets older, they will like several smaller boxes so that they can put them together to make a train. They can sit in the front box as the train engineer and fill the other "train cars" with their stuffed animals or dolls.
Large appliance boxes are the best for such things as an "office" for your child. They will spend hours in their "office" if you cut out windows and a door and allow them to take some of their prized possessions in there.
Perhaps the best and most entertaining use of a box is to drape it with a sheet or tablecloth to make a "box tent". "Tent making" is one of my favorite rainy day activities with small children. Sometimes, even the older kids want to take part. Never underestimate the value of a box. It is smart to keep one available just for those times when your child has "nothing to do". Whether you have a toddler or an older girl or boy, a cardboard box will ignite their imagination as nothing else. And it is absolutely free.
As your child gets older, they will like several smaller boxes so that they can put them together to make a train. They can sit in the front box as the train engineer and fill the other "train cars" with their stuffed animals or dolls.
Large appliance boxes are the best for such things as an "office" for your child. They will spend hours in their "office" if you cut out windows and a door and allow them to take some of their prized possessions in there.
Perhaps the best and most entertaining use of a box is to drape it with a sheet or tablecloth to make a "box tent". "Tent making" is one of my favorite rainy day activities with small children. Sometimes, even the older kids want to take part. Never underestimate the value of a box. It is smart to keep one available just for those times when your child has "nothing to do". Whether you have a toddler or an older girl or boy, a cardboard box will ignite their imagination as nothing else. And it is absolutely free.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Creating A Print Rich Environment
The words that you speak and the words that you read to your child can be some of the most important words that he or she hears. Words are the primary building blocks for learning and the earlier you begin talking and reading to your child, the better. Now, of course, I know you talk to your child even if your child is an infant. We mothers are always talking to our babies, even if we don't seem to make sense. And no one will deny the power of conversation in a child's life.
However, when it comes to building a rich vocabulary, nothing does it like words that come from "print". Your home should be "print rich". You should have books, magazines, and newspapers that your child sees you reading. You should read good, quality children's books to your child, even if you have to check books out from the library.
Research has shown that affluent families read to their children more often than families of children in poverty. By the time an affluent child is four, that child has heard 45 million words; a child with working class parents has heard 26 million; and a child in poverty has heard only 13 million. That 32 million word gap is extremely significant when that child starts kindergarten. That child will be behind his or her peers through no fault of his or her own.
Quoting from the report, Becoming A Nation of Readers: "The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading is reading aloud to children."
Please begin early. A child learns more between birth and age five than at any other time in his or her life. And if you don't take advantage of this window of opportunity, you can never make up for it and you can't get it back.
Recommended reading: Brown Bear, Brown Bear; Carl; The Hungry Caterpillar; Make Way For Ducklings; Blueberries for Sal; The Story of Ping. These books are what I call "Good Old Stand By" books because they have been around forever. Many are Caldecott and Newberry Award winners which means that they have won an award either for narrative content or for the excellence of their illustrations. They are appropriate for children from about 2-5 years of age.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Books With No Words
The "Carl" books are some of my very favorite children's books. However, they present a challenge for many parents and teachers because the "Carl" books are virtually wordless books. The most effective way to utilize books such as these is to sit with your child and look at each page very carefully. Then ask your child, "What is happening on this page?" Point to each element on the page and say something like, "This is Carl. What is Carl doing?" "Do you see the mother in this story? What is she doing?" "Point to the baby. What is the baby doing?" And so on. Books such as these are authored for the purpose of building a child's vocabulary and enriching their imaginations. However, children need an adult guide for many reading episodes before they are ready to "talk to themselves" about the book as they leaf through it.Not only are the "Carl" books great vocabulary builders, the illustrations are beautiful. In addition, these books are very thick cardboard books that feel really nice to the touch. What follows is a synopsis of Carl Goes Shopping by Alexandra Day (no relation).
Carl, everyone's favorite rottweiler, is back in an all-new adventure. This time Mom asks him to watch the baby in a department store. The minute she's out of sight, Carl and the baby's adventure begins. Should they help the animals escape from the pet department? But, A no! There's Mom heading back toward the baby's carriage. It's up to Carl to return the baby in time.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday With Shirley: One, Two, Three
Teaching your child to follow oral directions can begin as soon as your child understands language. This skill is important because it helps your child to build auditory memory, an essential life and school skill. We take for granted that children can remember three-step directions. They cannot do that without practice. I recommend beginning with one direction at a time. For example: "Go get the book." Simple, right? Ok, that's good. Practice directions such as that until your child masters them. Give different directives so your child has to think....but only one direction at a time.
Once your child is really good at following a single direction, add another. For example: "Go get the book and lay it on the table." Or, "Go to your toy box and find the ball." Eventually, you can add and descriptive word, such as," Go to your toy box and find the big ball." This requires that your child remembers to go to the toy box, look for the ball, and discern that it is big. You are teaching not only memory skills but attribute skills, as well. (big, small, thick, thin, etc.)
Finally, you can move to three step directions. This is appropriate when your child is between two and three years old. "Go to your room, find the ball, and bring it to me." Your child will think this is a game and will enjoy the repetition. At this point, you could add a color word if your child is beginning to learn his or her colors. " Go to your room, find the red ball, and bring it to me."
Through these activities, you will be helping to build a skill set for your child that is essential in school success and learning to read. Your child, however, will simply think that Mommy or Daddy knows how to play really good games.
Once your child is really good at following a single direction, add another. For example: "Go get the book and lay it on the table." Or, "Go to your toy box and find the ball." Eventually, you can add and descriptive word, such as," Go to your toy box and find the big ball." This requires that your child remembers to go to the toy box, look for the ball, and discern that it is big. You are teaching not only memory skills but attribute skills, as well. (big, small, thick, thin, etc.)
Finally, you can move to three step directions. This is appropriate when your child is between two and three years old. "Go to your room, find the ball, and bring it to me." Your child will think this is a game and will enjoy the repetition. At this point, you could add a color word if your child is beginning to learn his or her colors. " Go to your room, find the red ball, and bring it to me."
Through these activities, you will be helping to build a skill set for your child that is essential in school success and learning to read. Your child, however, will simply think that Mommy or Daddy knows how to play really good games.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Parenting Lessons From Long Ago
Four simple principles to remember from our pre-historic ancestors:
1. Keep Kids Close: The hunter/gatherers, without baby strollers, spent more time holding kids. Children who are touched tend to be calmer and more sociable.
2. Encourage Play With Kids of All Ages: In school and elsewhere, children tend to be segregated by age, which wasn't common long ago. Young children mimic the behaviors of older ones, which helps them develop and mature.
3. Ask For Help When You Need It: Our primitive kin divided the labor of parenting. Those who shoulder the burden of child-rearing alone can become stressed and less able to meet their kids' needs. As a result children may feel neglected.
4. Address Frustrations Early On.: Tribal parents were so tuned in to their children, they could anticipate meltdowns and cut them off early. If you sense your child is about to cry or is getting upset, act quickly to sooth him or her.
1. Keep Kids Close: The hunter/gatherers, without baby strollers, spent more time holding kids. Children who are touched tend to be calmer and more sociable.
2. Encourage Play With Kids of All Ages: In school and elsewhere, children tend to be segregated by age, which wasn't common long ago. Young children mimic the behaviors of older ones, which helps them develop and mature.
3. Ask For Help When You Need It: Our primitive kin divided the labor of parenting. Those who shoulder the burden of child-rearing alone can become stressed and less able to meet their kids' needs. As a result children may feel neglected.
4. Address Frustrations Early On.: Tribal parents were so tuned in to their children, they could anticipate meltdowns and cut them off early. If you sense your child is about to cry or is getting upset, act quickly to sooth him or her.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What's Cooking?
All children have a natural curiosity with food and cooking. Think about it. Food is something that starts out one way and after cooking, looks totally different. That is very scientific and very appealing to a child.
There was a time, prior to state accountability and assessment testing, when kindergarten children had cooking as a part of the weekly curriculum. That is no longer the case. Cooking has been relegated to the Pre-Kindergarten curriculum (if you're lucky) or has been removed from the curriculum completely. Therefore, you must have it as a part of your curriculum at home.
Even if you are a working Mom (and all Moms are working Moms!), you can engage in simple cooking activities with your child. I'm not talking about anything dangerous involving sharp knives (although this must be taught too as your child matures); I am talking about simple activities such as helping you measure, helping you stir, and helping you serve. Yes, this does take extra time and there will be somewhat of a mess. But you can begin with something simple like "Ants on a Log", celery stuffed with peanut butter with raisins on top; or Rice Krispies Treats---food items that require no cooking.
Later, you can advance to a simple cookie recipe that requires baking and you can discuss oven temperature, creaming the butter (creaming? What is that?), and using the mixer. You will build your child's vocabulary with each new activity. You will be teaching measurement and precision. You will be teaching your child hand/eye coordination as you teach stirring and spreading techniques. Even a child as young as two or three can learn to stir and follow directions.
It doesn't have to be complicated. You will be a rock star to your child if you have him or her help you with cooking. Little children are naturally interested in this activity. If you begin when your child is young (as with everything I have discussed in this blog), your child's interest in cooking will only grow and mature as he or she grows and matures. Just think, you may have your own personal chef in the house by the time your child is twelve.
There was a time, prior to state accountability and assessment testing, when kindergarten children had cooking as a part of the weekly curriculum. That is no longer the case. Cooking has been relegated to the Pre-Kindergarten curriculum (if you're lucky) or has been removed from the curriculum completely. Therefore, you must have it as a part of your curriculum at home.
Even if you are a working Mom (and all Moms are working Moms!), you can engage in simple cooking activities with your child. I'm not talking about anything dangerous involving sharp knives (although this must be taught too as your child matures); I am talking about simple activities such as helping you measure, helping you stir, and helping you serve. Yes, this does take extra time and there will be somewhat of a mess. But you can begin with something simple like "Ants on a Log", celery stuffed with peanut butter with raisins on top; or Rice Krispies Treats---food items that require no cooking.
Later, you can advance to a simple cookie recipe that requires baking and you can discuss oven temperature, creaming the butter (creaming? What is that?), and using the mixer. You will build your child's vocabulary with each new activity. You will be teaching measurement and precision. You will be teaching your child hand/eye coordination as you teach stirring and spreading techniques. Even a child as young as two or three can learn to stir and follow directions.
It doesn't have to be complicated. You will be a rock star to your child if you have him or her help you with cooking. Little children are naturally interested in this activity. If you begin when your child is young (as with everything I have discussed in this blog), your child's interest in cooking will only grow and mature as he or she grows and matures. Just think, you may have your own personal chef in the house by the time your child is twelve.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Teach Your Children Where Food Comes From
When I was an aspiring school administrator, I was often given the job of screening students for the gifted program. The screening instrument we used was the Slosson Intelligence Test. On that test, was the following question: "Where does bacon come from?". Invariably, approximately 70% of students answered that bacon came from the grocery store. That was more than thirty years ago. As we have moved farther and farther away from the origins of our food, children will not know where our food comes from unless they are taught. They didn't know it then; more of them will not know it now.
No, it is not necessary to convene a class on the origins of food. However, when you take your child to the grocery store, you can have those casual conversations that are considered "teachable moments". You will need to talk about eggs and that eggs come from chickens. You will need to talk about milk and that milk comes from cows and goats (and soy and almonds but that's for later).
You need to talk about the fact that orange juice comes from oranges, not from cartons. Buy some oranges and let your child help you squeeze them. If you don't have an orange squeezer, go to a thrift or antique store and buy an old one. You'll have a great time. You need to talk about which fruits grow on trees and which grow on bushes. If you aren't sure, do your research. You are your child's first teacher. Don't forget that.
Don't be squeamish about the meat part. You can mention that we get hamburger from cows and bacon from pigs. You can get more sophisticated as your child grows older. I will write more about this topic in the near future because it is critically important. Have you noticed how many topics are critically important for you as a parent? We have only just begun the journey.
No, it is not necessary to convene a class on the origins of food. However, when you take your child to the grocery store, you can have those casual conversations that are considered "teachable moments". You will need to talk about eggs and that eggs come from chickens. You will need to talk about milk and that milk comes from cows and goats (and soy and almonds but that's for later).
You need to talk about the fact that orange juice comes from oranges, not from cartons. Buy some oranges and let your child help you squeeze them. If you don't have an orange squeezer, go to a thrift or antique store and buy an old one. You'll have a great time. You need to talk about which fruits grow on trees and which grow on bushes. If you aren't sure, do your research. You are your child's first teacher. Don't forget that.
Don't be squeamish about the meat part. You can mention that we get hamburger from cows and bacon from pigs. You can get more sophisticated as your child grows older. I will write more about this topic in the near future because it is critically important. Have you noticed how many topics are critically important for you as a parent? We have only just begun the journey.
No Means No!
"No" does not mean "Yes" and "No" does not mean "Maybe". "No" means "No".
Whether you are interacting with a very young child, a pre-teen, or a teenager, "No" should unequivocally mean "No". Just as your children and students should be able to depend upon you to keep your word, they should be able to depend on the fact that when you say "No", you are not going to change your mind. When you vacillate and bow to the pressures that children masterfully apply, you become like a flag that changes direction every time the wind blows. Haven't you known individuals that would eventually change their minds if you asked enough times? Don't be that person. And don't say it if you can't deliver.
One of the great stalling techniques for parents and teachers is, "I'll think about it." I used to hate it when my mother would say that because I knew right away that I was not going to be able to manipulate her. My mother was the perfect example of "No means no". Once she made a decision, that was it. She would not bow to pressure and she would not argue with me. Period, the end.
I have found that applying my mother's principle, while difficult to do at first, became easier the more I did it. I learned to say very early on with both my children and my students, "No, and don't ask me again", AND "I don't argue with children." The equally important part of this equation is that once you say it, you must stick to it.
I have found "Let me think about it" to be an excellent discipline technique for older children....especially when they are asking permission to do something you are not sure about. Sometimes you need time to think and weigh the risks before you give permission; sometimes, you just need time to think about the ramifications of your decision. But remember, don't promise something you cannot follow-through on. "What would that be, you ask?" Well, for example, it would not be a good idea to threaten to "ground" your teenager for the rest of his or her life. You can't make that happen and you will just look foolish in the long run. Plus it will be meaningless for your child. Instead, you might say, "I need some time to think because I can't make a fair decision when I am this angry." Then take your time and come up with something reasonable that you are able to enforce.
With very young children, they soon learn that if they pester you enough, you may change your mind just to quiet them down. That is why you must begin early to stick to what you say. Small children become larger children and the requests they make become more costly and complicated. Therefore, when you are the grocery store and you say no and your child pitches a fit, you should leave your cart right there and take your child to the car. This accomplishes several things. First, it removes the audience for which the child is performing (this is also very important in a classroom); secondly, it lets your child know that you mean what you say; and thirdly, it lets your child know that you are the person in charge, not them. Yes, this is difficult. But you probably won't have to do it more than once. And whether is makes sense or not, your ability to stand firm with your word will make your child, regardless of their age, feel more secure in an environment that is predictable.
Whether you are interacting with a very young child, a pre-teen, or a teenager, "No" should unequivocally mean "No". Just as your children and students should be able to depend upon you to keep your word, they should be able to depend on the fact that when you say "No", you are not going to change your mind. When you vacillate and bow to the pressures that children masterfully apply, you become like a flag that changes direction every time the wind blows. Haven't you known individuals that would eventually change their minds if you asked enough times? Don't be that person. And don't say it if you can't deliver.
One of the great stalling techniques for parents and teachers is, "I'll think about it." I used to hate it when my mother would say that because I knew right away that I was not going to be able to manipulate her. My mother was the perfect example of "No means no". Once she made a decision, that was it. She would not bow to pressure and she would not argue with me. Period, the end.
I have found that applying my mother's principle, while difficult to do at first, became easier the more I did it. I learned to say very early on with both my children and my students, "No, and don't ask me again", AND "I don't argue with children." The equally important part of this equation is that once you say it, you must stick to it.
I have found "Let me think about it" to be an excellent discipline technique for older children....especially when they are asking permission to do something you are not sure about. Sometimes you need time to think and weigh the risks before you give permission; sometimes, you just need time to think about the ramifications of your decision. But remember, don't promise something you cannot follow-through on. "What would that be, you ask?" Well, for example, it would not be a good idea to threaten to "ground" your teenager for the rest of his or her life. You can't make that happen and you will just look foolish in the long run. Plus it will be meaningless for your child. Instead, you might say, "I need some time to think because I can't make a fair decision when I am this angry." Then take your time and come up with something reasonable that you are able to enforce.
With very young children, they soon learn that if they pester you enough, you may change your mind just to quiet them down. That is why you must begin early to stick to what you say. Small children become larger children and the requests they make become more costly and complicated. Therefore, when you are the grocery store and you say no and your child pitches a fit, you should leave your cart right there and take your child to the car. This accomplishes several things. First, it removes the audience for which the child is performing (this is also very important in a classroom); secondly, it lets your child know that you mean what you say; and thirdly, it lets your child know that you are the person in charge, not them. Yes, this is difficult. But you probably won't have to do it more than once. And whether is makes sense or not, your ability to stand firm with your word will make your child, regardless of their age, feel more secure in an environment that is predictable.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday Book Club for Parents: Reviving Ophelia
Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls is not a new book. In fact, it could be considered vintage by some standards because it is almost twenty years old. However, the message is current, important, and timely.Written by Dr. Mary Pipher, this book is an eye-opening look at the everyday dangers of being young and female, and how adults can help. This is the groundbreaking work that poses one of the most provocative questions of a generation: Why are American adolescent girls falling prey to depression, eating disorders, suicide attempts, and dangerously low self-esteem?
In Reviving Ophelia, these girls' uncensored voices are heard from the front lines of adolescence.It is a vibrant and insightful account, one we must respond to if we care about our daughters, our granddaughters, our nieces, and our students.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Saturday's Book Club For The Kids
Llama, Llama Red Pajama by Anna Dewdney will become your child's favorite story in a very short while. It is a story about a little llama who wants his mama at bedtime. Sound familiar? Not only does this wonderful story have the repetitive language that is so important for a young child, it also contains new words such as llama, groan, and fret, that will expand your child's vocabulary.I recommend this book for parents and teachers of young children up to the age of six. It is fun, has great rhymes, is wonderfully predictable, and is the perfect length for bedtime at home or story time in the classroom.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
An Unusual Recipe
This blog post is being written by guest blogger, Janet W. Bartlett, elementary teacher for thirty years.
As a retired teacher, I have accumulated lots of recipes for homemade Play Doh, papier mache, glue, paint, etc. They are all good, tried and true, but this recipe is a little different. It is in fact, the best recipe I have ever tried and I have used it for years. It is not too complex but it will reward you and your child with hours of creative fun, exploration, learning, soothing, concentration, and imagination.
For many years, I had a sand table in my primary classroom. Don't stop reading! Over the years, I was surprised many times by the change in students when they had their turn at the sand table. The most amazing was the soothing effect it had on those with learning and behavior difficulties. It was a priceless tool. It can be so for you.
Having such a sand table does require some structure, but structure is a good thing. You will need to set some rules for sand play such as no throwing or dumping out of the box, the sand needs to be manipulated deliberately and carefully to avoid a mess. If the rules are "forgotten", then the sand table is off limits for a time. Accidents will happen but stick to your rules.
You will need sand, of course, lots of spoons, tin cups, different size plastic containers, an old strainer (Kids LOVE to pour sand through a strainer!), old pie tins, and at least one funnel. It's also fun to make "combs" by sawing teeth into some thin wood. These make interesting rakes for making patterns in the sand.
There are several ways to get a sand table. You could get lucky and find one at Sam's Club as I did for my house. Or a container like a horse trough set up on a bench would work also. Or you can make your own as I did for my classroom. All you need is an old table. Cut some 1 x 6 boards to make the sides of your "box" and secure them to the table top with L brackets and screws. Line the box with plastic such as Visqueen from Home Depot or with a plastic tablecloth. Drape it up and over the sides. To hold it in place, nail some strips of thin wood like screen molding through the plastic and into the top edges of the box. Trim off the excess plastic and put in the sand. Half full is plenty. A bag of play sand from the big box store should do it.
There are lots of sand boxes out there. But a sand table is a different thing. It is much more comfortable for your child. It gives the child a sense of control and a feeling that they are "working". It is much neater and meets the needs of children who do not like to get dirty. A screen porch would be a great place for this if there is no cat access. It could be indoors but you need a good vacuum cleaner.
Now let's get to the real reasons for having a sand table aside from fun. Eye-hand coordination; kinesthetic reinforcement, especially for a child with disabilities; handwriting practice; especially good for children whose strongest mode of learning is tactile. And lastly, it is soothing, amazingly so for the stressed-out, acting-out kid who is hyperactive and has difficulty focusing. Pouring from one container to another, measuring, sifting, drawing, and just running hands through this material are all learning activities. You will be amazed at how long your child will remain engaged with the sand table. For additional fun, dampen the sand. This is great for making "mud" pies and cakes for pretend tea time. The possibilities are endless.
For anyone with a child, I believe there are two essential playthings. One is sand; the other is blocks. But that's another blog post.
As a retired teacher, I have accumulated lots of recipes for homemade Play Doh, papier mache, glue, paint, etc. They are all good, tried and true, but this recipe is a little different. It is in fact, the best recipe I have ever tried and I have used it for years. It is not too complex but it will reward you and your child with hours of creative fun, exploration, learning, soothing, concentration, and imagination.
For many years, I had a sand table in my primary classroom. Don't stop reading! Over the years, I was surprised many times by the change in students when they had their turn at the sand table. The most amazing was the soothing effect it had on those with learning and behavior difficulties. It was a priceless tool. It can be so for you.
Having such a sand table does require some structure, but structure is a good thing. You will need to set some rules for sand play such as no throwing or dumping out of the box, the sand needs to be manipulated deliberately and carefully to avoid a mess. If the rules are "forgotten", then the sand table is off limits for a time. Accidents will happen but stick to your rules.
You will need sand, of course, lots of spoons, tin cups, different size plastic containers, an old strainer (Kids LOVE to pour sand through a strainer!), old pie tins, and at least one funnel. It's also fun to make "combs" by sawing teeth into some thin wood. These make interesting rakes for making patterns in the sand.
There are several ways to get a sand table. You could get lucky and find one at Sam's Club as I did for my house. Or a container like a horse trough set up on a bench would work also. Or you can make your own as I did for my classroom. All you need is an old table. Cut some 1 x 6 boards to make the sides of your "box" and secure them to the table top with L brackets and screws. Line the box with plastic such as Visqueen from Home Depot or with a plastic tablecloth. Drape it up and over the sides. To hold it in place, nail some strips of thin wood like screen molding through the plastic and into the top edges of the box. Trim off the excess plastic and put in the sand. Half full is plenty. A bag of play sand from the big box store should do it.
There are lots of sand boxes out there. But a sand table is a different thing. It is much more comfortable for your child. It gives the child a sense of control and a feeling that they are "working". It is much neater and meets the needs of children who do not like to get dirty. A screen porch would be a great place for this if there is no cat access. It could be indoors but you need a good vacuum cleaner.
Now let's get to the real reasons for having a sand table aside from fun. Eye-hand coordination; kinesthetic reinforcement, especially for a child with disabilities; handwriting practice; especially good for children whose strongest mode of learning is tactile. And lastly, it is soothing, amazingly so for the stressed-out, acting-out kid who is hyperactive and has difficulty focusing. Pouring from one container to another, measuring, sifting, drawing, and just running hands through this material are all learning activities. You will be amazed at how long your child will remain engaged with the sand table. For additional fun, dampen the sand. This is great for making "mud" pies and cakes for pretend tea time. The possibilities are endless.
For anyone with a child, I believe there are two essential playthings. One is sand; the other is blocks. But that's another blog post.
Hail To The Chore Chart
Because I have always been a strong believer that all who live in the house have a responsibility for the upkeep of the house, Saturday was Chore Day at our house, for me as well as for my three daughters. The rule was that chores had to be done before anybody played. The tricky part for me was in how to get my daughters to do their chores without a lot of grumbling. Realizing from my classroom experience that children love choices, I implemented the Saturday Morning Chore Chart. I don't know where this brilliant idea came from but it was my salvation for those Saturday chores. Since this method is driven by a little competition between siblings, it is best utilized if you have more than one child.
This is the plan:
1. On Friday night, you (the parent) decide what chores need to be done. Make a list of chores and post the list on the refrigerator.
2. Decide how many chores each child should do. Write this number at the very top of the page. All children should have an equal number of chores but you can balance them out if some chores take a lot longer than others. For example, doing laundry can count as two or three chores, depending upon the quantity to be done. And yes, the children can do the laundry. At our house, you did laundry once you had your eleventh birthday.
3. When each child wakes up on Saturday morning, he or she signs up for the chores for the day. That means that if you are an early riser, you get the best chores, you get them done, and you get to play for the remainder of the day. If you like to sleep in, you must do the chores that no one else wants to do. If you procrastinate, your playtime is postponed and you must still do the chores that no one else wants to do.
I found that this method eliminated one of the biggest hassles of chore assignment.... "How come she gets to do THAT chore and I don't?" Now, don't get me wrong. There was some complaining at first, especially when my youngest daughter was up before everyone else, had her chores done (the "best" chores), and was out the door ready to play. On a few occasions, I had to remind everyone that they all had a choice in their time of arising and they all had a choice of chores. If they wanted the best chores, they had to get up early.
This did not change sleeping patterns but that was not the intent.
My daughter, Sleeping Beauty #1, chose to sleep until around eleven and took her chances on the chores.
My daughter, Sleeping Beauty #2, chose to sleep until three in the afternoon regardless of the chores left on the chart when she got up. And so, she always had the chores that nobody else wanted to do. But sleep was the most important thing to her, not chore choice.
If this is going to work for you, you should begin this system when your children are young so that it becomes a part of the family routine. And emphasize that there is choice in this system. Say It and Mean It. It will work for you and for your family.
This is the plan:
1. On Friday night, you (the parent) decide what chores need to be done. Make a list of chores and post the list on the refrigerator.
2. Decide how many chores each child should do. Write this number at the very top of the page. All children should have an equal number of chores but you can balance them out if some chores take a lot longer than others. For example, doing laundry can count as two or three chores, depending upon the quantity to be done. And yes, the children can do the laundry. At our house, you did laundry once you had your eleventh birthday.
3. When each child wakes up on Saturday morning, he or she signs up for the chores for the day. That means that if you are an early riser, you get the best chores, you get them done, and you get to play for the remainder of the day. If you like to sleep in, you must do the chores that no one else wants to do. If you procrastinate, your playtime is postponed and you must still do the chores that no one else wants to do.
I found that this method eliminated one of the biggest hassles of chore assignment.... "How come she gets to do THAT chore and I don't?" Now, don't get me wrong. There was some complaining at first, especially when my youngest daughter was up before everyone else, had her chores done (the "best" chores), and was out the door ready to play. On a few occasions, I had to remind everyone that they all had a choice in their time of arising and they all had a choice of chores. If they wanted the best chores, they had to get up early.
This did not change sleeping patterns but that was not the intent.
My daughter, Sleeping Beauty #1, chose to sleep until around eleven and took her chances on the chores.
My daughter, Sleeping Beauty #2, chose to sleep until three in the afternoon regardless of the chores left on the chart when she got up. And so, she always had the chores that nobody else wanted to do. But sleep was the most important thing to her, not chore choice.
If this is going to work for you, you should begin this system when your children are young so that it becomes a part of the family routine. And emphasize that there is choice in this system. Say It and Mean It. It will work for you and for your family.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Dress Up Box
A young child's imagination knows no bounds and one of the best ways to encourage make-believe play is through a Dress Up Box. In the classroom, I have used a box covered in brightly covered paper; for my oldest granddaughter, I used an old leather suitcase that I would cart around in my motor home each time I visited her. It's important to note that you should stock your Dress Up Box with adult-sized clothing items. When you are a pre-schooler, it's not that much fun to wear something that fits
Keep a large variety of dress-up items in your box because you never know what will strike a child's fancy. I found some of my best items at local thrift stores but my granddaughter's favorite item was a pair of silver high-heeled sandals that belonged to my mother. For little girls, you should have at last two dresses (yes, they will drag on the floor, that's perfect), a couple of pair of sparkly shoes (high heels, if possible), a crown of some kind, a hat, some old jewelry (long necklaces preferred), an adult purse, and a long piece of silky fabric. I don't know what it is about silky fabric but most children will either use it as a wrap or spread it on the floor to "set the stage" for dress up.
Little boys can get just as excited about dressing up as little girls. For their dress-up box, I would definitely have a pair of men's dress shoes, a hat, one or two ties, an old wallet, and some type of jacket. And don't forget the silky fabric. Little boys like to spread fabric on the floor also.
Pretending and playing "make believe" are not just cute things that children do. Pretending and playing "make believe" are benchmarks for one of the developmental stages that children must go through for proper social and emotional growth. Some children reach the "make believe" stage sooner than others but all of them must go through it. The dress-up box can be an important prop in getting your child excited about this type of play.
Keep a large variety of dress-up items in your box because you never know what will strike a child's fancy. I found some of my best items at local thrift stores but my granddaughter's favorite item was a pair of silver high-heeled sandals that belonged to my mother. For little girls, you should have at last two dresses (yes, they will drag on the floor, that's perfect), a couple of pair of sparkly shoes (high heels, if possible), a crown of some kind, a hat, some old jewelry (long necklaces preferred), an adult purse, and a long piece of silky fabric. I don't know what it is about silky fabric but most children will either use it as a wrap or spread it on the floor to "set the stage" for dress up.
Little boys can get just as excited about dressing up as little girls. For their dress-up box, I would definitely have a pair of men's dress shoes, a hat, one or two ties, an old wallet, and some type of jacket. And don't forget the silky fabric. Little boys like to spread fabric on the floor also.
Pretending and playing "make believe" are not just cute things that children do. Pretending and playing "make believe" are benchmarks for one of the developmental stages that children must go through for proper social and emotional growth. Some children reach the "make believe" stage sooner than others but all of them must go through it. The dress-up box can be an important prop in getting your child excited about this type of play.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Say It And Mean It
Little Thing #3 is Say It And Mean It
Regardless of your child's age, whether a two year old or a teenager, you must be a man or woman of your word. This is critical in all matters related to children because they have an uncanny sense of fairness and very good memories. When you make a promise to a child, you'd better be prepared to keep it or you will lose all credibility and control over any future situation.
For example, if you have a very small child, you may say something like, "If you are a good boy at the dentist, I will take you to the mall to pick out a toy." Well then, if he is a good boy at the dentist, the next stop, without question, should be the mall.
Similarly, if you have a teenager, you may say something like, "Your assignments in English class must be completed before you can go out on Friday night." Well then, if the assignments are not completed, your teenager must stay home.
Those are the kinds of "promises" I am talking about. Those everyday, "little" promises that grow into big ones. "If you make straight A's, then I will take you to Disney World......" When you make an "if, then" statement to a child, you must be prepared to make it happen.
"If, then" is also an important part of discipline. "If you continue yelling, then you will go to time-out. " Well, if the yelling continues, the child should immediately be placed in time-out. No negotiating, no begging, no statements such as, "Please Mommy, I promise I won't do it again!"
If you give in to statements such as these, you will find yourself giving in to the same statements when your child is a teenager. "Please Mom, I promise I won't break curfew again."
Say it and mean it. Kids need to know they can depend on you for both the good promises and the promises that don't feel so good when those promises involve restrictions or discipline. Children of all ages need to be able to predict consequences. Children need to know that what you say today and tomorrow is the same as what you said yesterday and the day before that. I know it sounds boring. It is not. It gives children a feeling of security.
It is called, "dependability"....it is called "predictability"....it is called "good parenting" and "good teaching".
And remember: children are children and, regardless of their size, they all basically need the same things.
Regardless of your child's age, whether a two year old or a teenager, you must be a man or woman of your word. This is critical in all matters related to children because they have an uncanny sense of fairness and very good memories. When you make a promise to a child, you'd better be prepared to keep it or you will lose all credibility and control over any future situation.
For example, if you have a very small child, you may say something like, "If you are a good boy at the dentist, I will take you to the mall to pick out a toy." Well then, if he is a good boy at the dentist, the next stop, without question, should be the mall.
Similarly, if you have a teenager, you may say something like, "Your assignments in English class must be completed before you can go out on Friday night." Well then, if the assignments are not completed, your teenager must stay home.
Those are the kinds of "promises" I am talking about. Those everyday, "little" promises that grow into big ones. "If you make straight A's, then I will take you to Disney World......" When you make an "if, then" statement to a child, you must be prepared to make it happen.
"If, then" is also an important part of discipline. "If you continue yelling, then you will go to time-out. " Well, if the yelling continues, the child should immediately be placed in time-out. No negotiating, no begging, no statements such as, "Please Mommy, I promise I won't do it again!"
If you give in to statements such as these, you will find yourself giving in to the same statements when your child is a teenager. "Please Mom, I promise I won't break curfew again."
Say it and mean it. Kids need to know they can depend on you for both the good promises and the promises that don't feel so good when those promises involve restrictions or discipline. Children of all ages need to be able to predict consequences. Children need to know that what you say today and tomorrow is the same as what you said yesterday and the day before that. I know it sounds boring. It is not. It gives children a feeling of security.
It is called, "dependability"....it is called "predictability"....it is called "good parenting" and "good teaching".
And remember: children are children and, regardless of their size, they all basically need the same things.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Set Those Boundaries!
Little Thing #2 is "Set Those Boundaries". When my grandson was two years old and became angry with me, he raised his little fist and said, "I hit Grammi!". My automatic reaction was to take hold of his arm, look him straight into the eye, and say, "You will NEVER hit your Grammi. Do you understand?". That was my boundary and he, at two years old, understood perfectly because the next thing he said was, "I sorry Grammi, I sorry".
I consider boundary-setting or setting limits the most loving thing you can do for a child whether you are a parent, a teacher, or both. Children need to know what the rules are and what the consequences are for breaking those rules. Setting limits does not make you a mean parent or a mean teacher. It makes you an individual who cares enough about a child to protect that child with rules. Much of the out of control behavior of children is because those children do not know where or when to stop. No one has said, "Enough!", and meant it.
Now, setting boundaries is not easy. At first, it will seem that you are saying "no" all the time and with very young children, you are. But as the child grows to know your limits, and as you continue to maintain your own boundaries, your child will begin to understand that you mean what you say and that you will not change your mind. You, on the other hand, will find it easier to set limits once it becomes a part of your own routine. The more you do it, the easier it will get.
Some children will accept your boundaries and not challenge you very much. With other children who have stronger personalities, it will take greater resolve and energy on your part to hold the line and not just cave in. Sometimes, it will be exhausting. That is normal. The more you maintain your boundaries and set your limits, the more your child will understand that neither you or your rules will change. The pay-off for you and for your child is this: as your child gets older and life's situations become more risky, you will have established what you will and will not accept. Does this mean your child will not test you again and again? No.... that is what children do.
But children should not be allowed to negotiate the rules. You are the adult, you should set the limits. Rules are for the safety and well-being of your child. Your child needs for you to assume this role. It is your responsibility as a parent.
And remember: children are children and, regardless of their size, they all basically need the same things.
I consider boundary-setting or setting limits the most loving thing you can do for a child whether you are a parent, a teacher, or both. Children need to know what the rules are and what the consequences are for breaking those rules. Setting limits does not make you a mean parent or a mean teacher. It makes you an individual who cares enough about a child to protect that child with rules. Much of the out of control behavior of children is because those children do not know where or when to stop. No one has said, "Enough!", and meant it.
Now, setting boundaries is not easy. At first, it will seem that you are saying "no" all the time and with very young children, you are. But as the child grows to know your limits, and as you continue to maintain your own boundaries, your child will begin to understand that you mean what you say and that you will not change your mind. You, on the other hand, will find it easier to set limits once it becomes a part of your own routine. The more you do it, the easier it will get.
Some children will accept your boundaries and not challenge you very much. With other children who have stronger personalities, it will take greater resolve and energy on your part to hold the line and not just cave in. Sometimes, it will be exhausting. That is normal. The more you maintain your boundaries and set your limits, the more your child will understand that neither you or your rules will change. The pay-off for you and for your child is this: as your child gets older and life's situations become more risky, you will have established what you will and will not accept. Does this mean your child will not test you again and again? No.... that is what children do.
But children should not be allowed to negotiate the rules. You are the adult, you should set the limits. Rules are for the safety and well-being of your child. Your child needs for you to assume this role. It is your responsibility as a parent.
And remember: children are children and, regardless of their size, they all basically need the same things.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday's Book Club For Mom and Dad
"The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success is reading aloud to children." That quotation is from Becoming a Nation of Readers, a national report by the Commission on Reading. However, even knowing its importance, many parents, grandparents, teachers, principals, and other educators need guidance as to the "why," "how," and "what" of reading aloud to a child.
The book I am recommending for the first of which will be many Sunday Book Clubs for Moms and Dads, is The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. This book, in its sixth printing, not only teaches the "why", "how", and "what", of reading aloud to a child, it also contains lists of appropriate children's books for each phase of your child's life. As a parent, I found this book invaluable; as a classroom teacher, I found it to be a resource I consulted almost daily.
Reading aloud to your child builds the foundation of connecting language to the written word. You can begin with something as simple as one of the Good Dog, Carl books that have no words. A friend of mine once asked me, "What do I do with this book? It has no words?" Well, you can use books such as these to talk about the pictures, to make up your own story or to have your child look at the pictures and make up a story of his or her own. You will find that with repeated readings, your child will want the story to be the same time after time......predictable and familiar.
Check out The Read-Aloud Handbook from your local library. Take a look and decide for yourself. I think it's a book you will want to have for your very own.
The book I am recommending for the first of which will be many Sunday Book Clubs for Moms and Dads, is The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease. This book, in its sixth printing, not only teaches the "why", "how", and "what", of reading aloud to a child, it also contains lists of appropriate children's books for each phase of your child's life. As a parent, I found this book invaluable; as a classroom teacher, I found it to be a resource I consulted almost daily.
Reading aloud to your child builds the foundation of connecting language to the written word. You can begin with something as simple as one of the Good Dog, Carl books that have no words. A friend of mine once asked me, "What do I do with this book? It has no words?" Well, you can use books such as these to talk about the pictures, to make up your own story or to have your child look at the pictures and make up a story of his or her own. You will find that with repeated readings, your child will want the story to be the same time after time......predictable and familiar.
Check out The Read-Aloud Handbook from your local library. Take a look and decide for yourself. I think it's a book you will want to have for your very own.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Saturday's Book Club For The Kids
It is never too early to begin reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin and Eric Carle. It is a wonderfully repetitive book with delightful illustrations that will enchant your child for many, many readings. Because of the repetitive nature of this book, your child will begin reading along with you long before he or she actually learns to read words alone. If you only have one children's book in your collection, this should be it.Friday, February 18, 2011
It's The Little Things
In life, it is so often the little things that grow into the big things that become overwhelming. And many young, busy, busy mothers and teachers tell me that there is not time to devote to routines and procedures. Well, here is what I have to say about that: if you don't make time now teaching routines and procedures, you will HAVE to make time later because your structure will fall apart. I will say this time and time again.....the more procedures you have in place, the simpler your life will be and the more secure your child will feel because life (at least some of it) will be predictable.
And so, Little Thing #1 is to establish a place for your child to sit while eating a meal. You can begin this while your child is very small; in fact, by the time your child is around 3 and out of a high chair, they should have a specific place to sit while eating. In some families, everyone has a certain "place" at the table. I'm not suggesting anything quite that formal but I do believe strongly in structure for all human beings. It takes the guesswork out of life.
For example, when my granddaughter was 3, I began seating her at the end of the dining room table for her meals each time she visited. I gave her a special chair and a special spoon. And so now that she is almost 6, she continues to sit at the end of the table with her special chair and special spoon. "This is where I sit, right Grammi?". "Yes, Cassidy, that is where you sit. "
I can see moms out there shaking their heads saying, "What, are you nuts? I'm lucky if I get dinner on the table much less a "special" spoon!!
No, I'm not nuts. I, too, was a working mom and a single mom and I know what works with kids.. If you "front load" the training (and it is all training) your life will be easier, mealtimes will be less stressful, and your child will feel more secure because there are fewer unknowns. So I encourage you to begin with Little Thing #1. And let me know how it goes.
Because remember: Children are children and, regardless of their size, they basically all need the same things.
And so, Little Thing #1 is to establish a place for your child to sit while eating a meal. You can begin this while your child is very small; in fact, by the time your child is around 3 and out of a high chair, they should have a specific place to sit while eating. In some families, everyone has a certain "place" at the table. I'm not suggesting anything quite that formal but I do believe strongly in structure for all human beings. It takes the guesswork out of life.
For example, when my granddaughter was 3, I began seating her at the end of the dining room table for her meals each time she visited. I gave her a special chair and a special spoon. And so now that she is almost 6, she continues to sit at the end of the table with her special chair and special spoon. "This is where I sit, right Grammi?". "Yes, Cassidy, that is where you sit. "
I can see moms out there shaking their heads saying, "What, are you nuts? I'm lucky if I get dinner on the table much less a "special" spoon!!
No, I'm not nuts. I, too, was a working mom and a single mom and I know what works with kids.. If you "front load" the training (and it is all training) your life will be easier, mealtimes will be less stressful, and your child will feel more secure because there are fewer unknowns. So I encourage you to begin with Little Thing #1. And let me know how it goes.
Because remember: Children are children and, regardless of their size, they basically all need the same things.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Who Am I, Anyway?
I am a mother, grandmother, former teacher and former principal with over forty years of experience in the fields of parenting and educating children. I am starting this blog because I believe I have a lot to say that may be helpful to parents and teachers but especially to parents, a child's first teacher. I have learned that many ideas having to do with the education of children are very simple ideas that are executed with great expertise. The secret to a well-executed simple idea is to first establish a routine and procedure that accompanies that simple idea. The most effective methods in teaching children, whether in the home or in the school, are those methods that involve routines, procedures, consistency and predictability.
Do not believe that children will get bored with a predictable routine. They will not. The reason they will not get bored is because predictable routines make children feel secure in their environment. They know what to expect day after day and are reassured by that structure. It is very unsettling to children (and also to adults) when the "rules of the game" change arbitrarily and cannot be predicted. For this reason, it is critical to have set routines and procedures for everything. Children thrive in an environment of predictability. They trust that things will be the same, no matter what. It is our job as the responsible adult to be sure we create the environment our children need.
Some children are more affected by change than others. However, all children need advanced warning when an established routine is changing. I know that circumstances change and some days are crazier than others. Take the time, though, to let your child know if a procedure is changing, even if just for one day. Don't assume they won't care--they will.
I hope that this blog will be a resource for parents, teachers, friends of teachers--anyone who works with children, has children, or knows children. Sometimes, it's the simple advice that can change the course of your day.
Do not believe that children will get bored with a predictable routine. They will not. The reason they will not get bored is because predictable routines make children feel secure in their environment. They know what to expect day after day and are reassured by that structure. It is very unsettling to children (and also to adults) when the "rules of the game" change arbitrarily and cannot be predicted. For this reason, it is critical to have set routines and procedures for everything. Children thrive in an environment of predictability. They trust that things will be the same, no matter what. It is our job as the responsible adult to be sure we create the environment our children need.
Some children are more affected by change than others. However, all children need advanced warning when an established routine is changing. I know that circumstances change and some days are crazier than others. Take the time, though, to let your child know if a procedure is changing, even if just for one day. Don't assume they won't care--they will.
I hope that this blog will be a resource for parents, teachers, friends of teachers--anyone who works with children, has children, or knows children. Sometimes, it's the simple advice that can change the course of your day.
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