In life, it is so often the little things that grow into the big things that become overwhelming. And many young, busy, busy mothers and teachers tell me that there is not time to devote to routines and procedures. Well, here is what I have to say about that: if you don't make time now teaching routines and procedures, you will HAVE to make time later because your structure will fall apart. I will say this time and time again.....the more procedures you have in place, the simpler your life will be and the more secure your child will feel because life (at least some of it) will be predictable.
And so, Little Thing #1 is to establish a place for your child to sit while eating a meal. You can begin this while your child is very small; in fact, by the time your child is around 3 and out of a high chair, they should have a specific place to sit while eating. In some families, everyone has a certain "place" at the table. I'm not suggesting anything quite that formal but I do believe strongly in structure for all human beings. It takes the guesswork out of life.
For example, when my granddaughter was 3, I began seating her at the end of the dining room table for her meals each time she visited. I gave her a special chair and a special spoon. And so now that she is almost 6, she continues to sit at the end of the table with her special chair and special spoon. "This is where I sit, right Grammi?". "Yes, Cassidy, that is where you sit. "
I can see moms out there shaking their heads saying, "What, are you nuts? I'm lucky if I get dinner on the table much less a "special" spoon!!
No, I'm not nuts. I, too, was a working mom and a single mom and I know what works with kids.. If you "front load" the training (and it is all training) your life will be easier, mealtimes will be less stressful, and your child will feel more secure because there are fewer unknowns. So I encourage you to begin with Little Thing #1. And let me know how it goes.
Because remember: Children are children and, regardless of their size, they basically all need the same things.
i am not a mother and this still makes sense to me. not simply because i was the recipient of this wisdom but because you definitely know what you are talking about!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. It also makes going out to dinner much less stressful. If they are not made to sit at a table and behave during meals at home, how can you expect them to do so in public? Great advice!
ReplyDeleteHi Shirley!
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see this new blog! You've given me some good advice on educating my high schooler. Now...we will be navigating the maze of college admissions, test taking, financial aid, scholarship apps ect. Do you have any advice and info you can share? We are exploring both public and private(Catholic) college/universities. Thanks.
Hi Kansasrose:
ReplyDeleteSince most of my experience as a teacher and administrator were on the elementary level, K-6, I am not well-versed in the university maze. However, what I know for sure is this: your child must want to go to college bad enough to be willing to fill out applications on his or her own. It should not be your responsibility although the financial aid paperwork will involve you. I know that one of the most important things universities consider is the narrative writing portion of the application so be sure your child has help with this if he or she is not a great writer. In addition, make sure your son or daughter makes note of any volunteer work they have done. This is critical to many institutions of higher learning.