Be The Voice of Reason

I just heard this week via my television set, that Abercrombie and Fitch is marketing a push-up bikini top for seven year olds. If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, you have already heard my tirade. However, if you are not, or even if you are, I feel the need to elaborate.

You, the parent, have all of the power when it comes to purchasing items for your child. Yes, your child may pressure you, especially when they are teenagers. But remember way back when I taught you that "no means no"? Well this is one of those times to stick to your guns. You have the power of the purse and not only can you say no to your child, you MUST say no to manufacturers who think you have no sense.

Our children are growing up much too fast as it is. The hormones being injected into our foods are causing our childrens' little bodies to mature way too soon. The last thing we need to do is to perpetuate the idea that being grown up needs to begin at age seven. Please be aware of what advertising is doing. Be smart, be firm, and be powerful. Your money talks. Make sure it is saying, "NO".

The Lemonade Stand

Yesterday, I spent most of the morning seeking out community yard sales here in Ocala. I happened upon several sales being held by entire neighborhoods and on one street, I was fortunate enough to meet Avery. Avery is a little five year old girl who was running a lemonade stand for yard sale attendees. I am telling you this story because, while lemonade stands were very common sixty years ago when I was a girl, they are not so common these days.

Avery's mother had made a large pitcher of lemonade and Avery's father was supervising the sales. Avery, on the other hand, was dividing her time between being a charming salesperson, and running in the house to find out how much lemonade was selling for. When we became her first customers of the morning, her eyes just glistened. When we dropped two quarters into her hand, she said, "Dad, I have change!".

It is never too early to teach your child the value of work and the value of money. Earning money comes naturally for some children; but others must be taught, helped, and encouraged. I am confident that a portion of Avery's lemonade earnings will be put into the bank. Perhaps, she will be allowed to spend a portion of it on herself. I hope that her Mom and Dad will teach her that a portion of her earnings must pay for the lemonade supplies. And that some of her profit should be set aside for charity. I know all of this seems very complicated for a five year old and perhaps it is. However, waiting until a child is a teenager is much too late. Values and a strong work ethic develop over time with much effort and practice.

Remember that it's the little things that make up the big things later on. If you are to raise a responsible adult, you must begin teaching responsibility at a very early age. Who knew it could begin with some lemons and sugar? Actually, Avery's lemonade was Crystal Light but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that her parents took the time on a Saturday morning to make lemonade, make a sign, and supervise their child while she learned about product sales, customer service, and entrepreneurship. Way to go Mom and Dad!

Tools For Pre Writing

Children are often very anxious to begin using a drawing or writing implement at a very young age because they like to mimic their parents and older siblings. When you notice that your child wants to draw or "write", one of the best implements you can give them is a big, fat crayon. A child's hand and finger muscles are not developed until at least age five or six and their fine motor skills are not yet fine tuned. And so, the bigger the tool, the easier it will be for your child to have control of his or her drawing and writing.

It is quite a project to find big, fat crayons. These crayons are often called "Primary Crayons" but they are not as plentiful as they once were. I have found them at WalMart but they are expensive. If you live on the West Coast of the US, and have a place like "Scraps", you may have more luck getting these crayons at a bargain price. Another tool to try is a large paintbrush; not one like you would use to paint the house but one that you might use to paint a canvas--a paintbrush with a substantial, round handle that your child can wrap his or her hand around. Fill a bucket with water and allow your child to "paint" with water on the sidewalk or some other safe surface.

Manipulating a large crayon or a large paintbrush is a precursor to writing and will help develop your child's fine and gross motor muscles. Stay away from traditional pencils. They are too small and not intended for the hands of a young child.

The Value of a Box

One of the best and most inexpensive playthings for your child, no matter what their age, is a cardboard box. That's right, an empty cardboard box. From the time your baby begins to crawl, he or she will be fascinated with a box. There was many a time that my children preferred to play with the box, rather than the toy that was packaged within the box. When your child is small, they love a box that is bigger than they are so that they can hide from you. You may need to cut a door in the side of the box because your child will love to go in and out numerous times.

As your child gets older, they will like several smaller boxes so that they can put them together to make a train. They can sit in the front box as the train engineer and fill the other "train cars" with their stuffed animals or dolls.

Large appliance boxes are the best for such things as an "office" for your child. They will spend hours in their "office" if you cut out windows and a door and allow them to take some of their prized possessions in there.

Perhaps the best and most entertaining use of a box is to drape it with a sheet or tablecloth to make a "box tent". "Tent making" is one of my favorite rainy day activities with small children. Sometimes, even the older kids want to take part. Never underestimate the value of a box. It is smart to keep one available just for those times when your child has "nothing to do". Whether you have a toddler or an older girl or boy, a cardboard box will ignite their imagination as nothing else. And it is absolutely free.

Creating A Print Rich Environment

The words that you speak and the words that you read to your child can be some of the most important words that he or she hears. Words are the primary building blocks for learning and the earlier you begin talking and reading to your child, the better. Now, of course, I know you talk to your child even if your child is an infant. We mothers are always talking to our babies, even if we don't seem to make sense. And no one will deny the power of conversation in a child's life.

However, when it comes to building a rich vocabulary, nothing does it like words that come from "print". Your home should be "print rich". You should have books, magazines, and newspapers that your child sees you reading. You should read good, quality children's books to your child, even if you have to check books out from the library.

Research has shown that affluent families read to their children more often than families of children in poverty. By the time an affluent child is four, that child has heard 45 million words; a child with working class parents has heard 26 million; and a child in poverty has heard only 13 million. That 32 million word gap is extremely significant when that child starts kindergarten. That child will be behind his or her peers through no fault of his or her own.

Quoting from the report, Becoming A Nation of Readers: "The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading is reading aloud to children."

Please begin early. A child learns more between birth and age five than at any other time in his or her life. And if you don't take advantage of this window of opportunity, you can never make up for it and you can't get it back.

Recommended reading: Brown Bear, Brown Bear; Carl; The Hungry Caterpillar; Make Way For Ducklings; Blueberries for Sal; The Story of Ping. These books are what I call "Good Old Stand By" books because they have been around forever. Many are Caldecott and Newberry Award winners which means that they have won an award either for narrative content or for the excellence of their illustrations. They are appropriate for children from about 2-5 years of age.

Books With No Words

The "Carl" books are some of my very favorite children's books. However, they present a challenge for many parents and teachers because the "Carl" books are virtually wordless books. The most effective way to utilize books such as these is to sit with your child and look at each page very carefully. Then ask your child, "What is happening on this page?" Point to each element on the page and say something like, "This is Carl. What is Carl doing?" "Do you see the mother in this story? What is she doing?" "Point to the baby. What is the baby doing?" And so on. Books such as these are authored for the purpose of building a child's vocabulary and enriching their imaginations. However, children need an adult guide for many reading episodes before they are ready to "talk to themselves" about the book as they leaf through it.

Not only are the "Carl" books great vocabulary builders, the illustrations are beautiful. In addition, these books are very thick cardboard books that feel really nice to the touch. What follows is a synopsis of Carl Goes Shopping by Alexandra Day (no relation).

Carl, everyone's favorite rottweiler, is back in an all-new adventure. This time Mom asks him to watch the baby in a department store. The minute she's out of sight, Carl and the baby's adventure begins. Should they help the animals escape from the pet department? But, A no! There's Mom heading back toward the baby's carriage. It's up to Carl to return the baby in time.

Sunday With Shirley: One, Two, Three

Teaching your child to follow oral directions can begin as soon as your child understands language. This skill is important because it helps your child to build auditory memory, an essential life and school skill. We take for granted that children can remember three-step directions. They cannot do that without practice. I recommend beginning with one direction at a time. For example: "Go get the book." Simple, right? Ok, that's good. Practice directions such as that until your child masters them. Give different directives so your child has to think....but only one direction at a time.

Once your child is really good at following a single direction, add another. For example: "Go get the book and lay it on the table." Or, "Go to your toy box and find the ball." Eventually, you can add and descriptive word, such as," Go to your toy box and find the big ball." This requires that your child remembers to go to the toy box, look for the ball, and discern that it is big. You are teaching not only memory skills but attribute skills, as well. (big, small, thick, thin, etc.)

Finally, you can move to three step directions. This is appropriate when your child is between two and three years old. "Go to your room, find the ball, and bring it to me." Your child will think this is a game and will enjoy the repetition. At this point, you could add a color word if your child is beginning to learn his or her colors. " Go to your room, find the red ball, and bring it to me."

Through these activities, you will be helping to build a skill set for your child that is essential in school success and learning to read. Your child, however, will simply think that Mommy or Daddy knows how to play really good games.

Parenting Lessons From Long Ago

Four simple principles to remember from our pre-historic ancestors:

1. Keep Kids Close: The hunter/gatherers, without baby strollers, spent more time holding kids. Children who are touched tend to be calmer and more sociable.
2. Encourage Play With Kids of All Ages: In school and elsewhere, children tend to be segregated by age, which wasn't common long ago. Young children mimic the behaviors of older ones, which helps them develop and mature.
3. Ask For Help When You Need It: Our primitive kin divided the labor of parenting. Those who shoulder the burden of child-rearing alone can become stressed and less able to meet their kids' needs. As a result children may feel neglected.
4. Address Frustrations Early On.: Tribal parents were so tuned in to their children, they could anticipate meltdowns and cut them off early. If you sense your child is about to cry or is getting upset, act quickly to sooth him or her.

What's Cooking?

All children have a natural curiosity with food and cooking. Think about it. Food is something that starts out one way and after cooking, looks totally different. That is very scientific and very appealing to a child.

There was a time, prior to state accountability and assessment testing, when kindergarten children had cooking as a part of the weekly curriculum. That is no longer the case. Cooking has been relegated to the Pre-Kindergarten curriculum (if you're lucky) or has been removed from the curriculum completely. Therefore, you must have it as a part of your curriculum at home.

Even if you are a working Mom (and all Moms are working Moms!), you can engage in simple cooking activities with your child. I'm not talking about anything dangerous involving sharp knives (although this must be taught too as your child matures); I am talking about simple activities such as helping you measure, helping you stir, and helping you serve. Yes, this does take extra time and there will be somewhat of a mess. But you can begin with something simple like "Ants on a Log", celery stuffed with peanut butter with raisins on top; or Rice Krispies Treats---food items that require no cooking.

Later, you can advance to a simple cookie recipe that requires baking and you can discuss oven temperature, creaming the butter (creaming? What is that?), and using the mixer. You will build your child's vocabulary with each new activity. You will be teaching measurement and precision. You will be teaching your child hand/eye coordination as you teach stirring and spreading techniques. Even a child as young as two or three can learn to stir and follow directions.

It doesn't have to be complicated. You will be a rock star to your child if you have him or her help you with cooking. Little children are naturally interested in this activity. If you begin when your child is young (as with everything I have discussed in this blog), your child's interest in cooking will only grow and mature as he or she grows and matures. Just think, you may have your own personal chef in the house by the time your child is twelve.